it's love :)

if you're fell uncomplete when he/she not arround
if he/she is the one who make you worried all the time
if you're willing to do something you never do just for them
if their problem become you're problem
if you're happy when they happy
if their smile can make you're heart beat fastest
if their word become more sensitive for you
if you're willing to sacrifice any things to make they smiling again
if their come into your deepest dream
if when you're hurt because of them you still smile
if you feel want to share anythings with them
if you are really want to be around him through every condition
if you're still hope when there's no chance
if you're want to become responsible of their bad habbits
if you're willing to do harsh for their sake
if when you're fall asleep in tears because see them with someone else
you tried to forget him, but in the end you back into them again.

and if you're through this condition, yap it's love dude :)
but remember love is about to share joy, doesn't matter you're be with them or not to be with them :)

hujan

hari ini hujan,
deras seakan menertawai apa yang telah terjadi kepada kita
terduduk gelisah meratapi keadaan
seakan apa yang telah kita lewati hanya formalitas
memalsukan tawa, mengkhianati cinta
menahan tangis melihat apa yang terjadi
tak bisakah kita memutar waktu?
tak bisakah kau mengingat saat dulu?
saat waktu begitu cepat, seakan berlari saat kita bersama?
saat hujan menjadi salah satu hal yang menarik bagi kita
saat kau menanyakan apa yang terjadi dimalam terburukku?
saat kau menyediakan bahumu untukku menyenderkan segala bebanku?
tak berbekaskah itu?
tak ingatkah kau saat pertama kali, merasakan pelukanmu yang hangat?
pelukan yang penuh keserdehanaan, kesetiaan dan ketegaran
air mata yang akan terus menetes,
seakan tak akan bisa memberhentikan langkahmu
jangan pergi, jangan
kau berhenti menatapku dan melanjutkan langkahmu lebih cepat
secepat kau menghapus semuanya
semua tawa,senyum,kenangan
apa yang harus kulakukan?
apa aku harus menatap kedepan?
seperti hujan yang akan berhenti dan berganti pelangi?
kau datang seperti air hujan yang membasahi tanah yang tandus
dan kau pergi secepat hujan berhenti dan berganti pelangi
kembalilah padaku, karena tak secepat hujan aku bisa menghapus bayanganmu.

people change, because they already suffered all of the pain.

maybe my life is become harder and harder right now, or maybe i just need to trying learned to slow down and try to hear the rhythm of life.
i do, i do regreting how i can hate her so much and the way why i cant forgive her.
i need to stop regreting and start hearing, the rhythm :)
**and maybe her reason too. or maybe not ;p

reason.

well, today i learned about sth that important.
no, i can't forgive 'it' (i will called it because it doesnt deserve to called as human)
never i never can forgive it.
never when i see 'it' sight, one thing just suddenly comes up in my mind
hate,hurt,tears,sly,sycophant,betrayer,revenge,grudge,and pity.
nothing, it can do right because everythings 'it' do it for itself
selfish, ya very very selfish until 'it' doesnt even know what they're thinking about itself, or exactly 'it' doesnt want to know.
'it' thinks 'it's always right, never been wrong.
'it' said " i told you about norm and behave why dont you do it? "
'it' can said 'it' told me about norm? IT can said like that
if 'it' can start to heard other people! HEY
if you want to be respected by others you MUST respect others FIRST or at least make your self deserved to be respected!
really, not me the one who need to heard others people first.
you, ya it's you the ONE who REALLY REALLY need to TRIED RESPECT and HEARD what others want to say!
not you the one who supposed said to me that i can't behave well
i think i behave well BETTER than YOU, i want to heard YOU but YOU?
wow it was a WORLD WONDERS if you can start to heard other people.
YOU ARE REALLY a BIG sycophant!
i have been thought it many times, no one ever give you even just a chance because you're too selfish, if youre not a MASTER of SYCOPHANT!
maybe i need to learned how to be a SYCOPHANT with you privately.
OH, no maybe I'M PREFER BEING INSULTED, THAN BEING A SYCOPHANT.
you know why? because i still respect my self to NOT doing something that REALLY disgusting!
like what you have done for whole of your life.
OH! ups i called you as a human? can i?
honestly i never hate someone so much like this until i ever think when 'it' died i will stand in the front and said to it " I REALLY LOVE THIS DAY "
can you imagine? maybe ya i have been hurt so much.
i really want to be the same ages as 'it' and can says all of things that everyone afraid to say ot 'it'
NO i will not even WORRY, to say WHAT i want to say ABOUT IT BAD HABBIT.
that in fact it very CONTRAST, with what 'it' do for 'it' life!
until know i still have reason to revenge, but i still believe
"if your revenge failed, dont afraid karma 'will' "

with love and smile of victory,
your HATTERS :)

confession.

hari ini waktu gw pulang dari sekolah, gw sadar akan sesuatu
sesuatu yang ternyata selama ini udah gw lupain yaitu bersyukur.
ya! gw kurang banget bersyukur atas apa yang terjadi hari ini
karena terkadang apa yang gw kehendaki untuk terjadi hari ini ternyata ennggak seperti apa yang telah terjadi
bisa beda beda tipis bisa beda banget, bisa sama sekali gak pernah lo bayangin.
apa yang lo dapet hari ini itu berkah, gw punya kekhawatiran berlebihan mungkin tentang apa yang akan terjadi sama gw hari ini.
karena gw ngerasa bukan orang yang cukup baik untuk menjadi ornag yang beruntung, gw takut kalo gw adalah orang yang paling sial hari ini karena kita semua gak ada yang tahu kan? apa yg bakal terjadi satu detik berikutnya?
gw takut ternyata kalo yang jadi korban bencana alam diantaranya itu gw,
gw takut kalo ternyata gw termasuk salah satu orang yang bakal kecelakaan hari ini
gw takut kalo gw ternyata jadi salah satu orang yang terjebak di kebakaran
gw takut kalo gw bakal kehilangan orang yang gw cintai,
gw takut kalo ternyata Tuhan rela untuk ngebuat gw jadi orang yang paling sial hari ini
satu hal yang gw pelajarin dari bad habbit gw, karena gw gak pernah bersyukur atas segala hal yang terjadi hari ini
atas hal yang sudah terjadi hari ini, dan gw gak pernah puas akan itu
gw gak pernah puas apa yang gw dapet hari ini,
gw gak pernah bersyukur.
dan gw harus belajar bersyukur atas kehidupan yang uda gw dapet hari ini.
yang kedua, gw belom pernah sebenci ini sama orang lain.sampe sampe gw berharap kalo gw bisa nyiksa dia sama kek dia nyiksa gw ckck
gw gak bisa maafin dia, gak gak akan pernah bisa.
entah karena dia itu satu macem sama gw yang sama sama keras atau emang dia kelewatan gw ngerasa gw gak bakal pernah maafin dia.
tapi gw sesuatu menyadarkan gw, kalo gw gak bisa maafin dia dan malah berencana buat ngebales semua itu bukannya gw malah sama aja kek dia?
HAHA, gw lebih gak sudi lagi deh ya jadi sama kek dia! HAHAHA
jadi gw memutuskan (bukan untuk maafin dia) tapi at least gw bakal coba,
walaupun berat gw bakal mengalihkan perasaan benci itu ke rasa kasihan karena hidup dia yang berat waktu kecil dan sekarang dia melampiaskannya kebeberapa orang.
well, someone said that it was projection from what already happened to they
ketiga, gw positif! 1000000% kalo ternyata gw gak suka sama dia hahahahaha
gila kali gw bisa suka sama orang macem itu! HAHA
keempat, bulan NOVEMBER ini dimulai dengan gw yang uda gak lifeless!
ya! gw uda punya tujuan hidup yang bakal gw kejar sampe matii! HAHAHAAHA
gw punya rencana untuk masuk IPA ya walaupun jurusan yang bakal gw ambil yang mendukung, gw rasa cara berfikir anak anak IPA bisa gw pelajari dan gw terapkan nanti hahaha
gw punya rencana untuk masuk UI ya UI gila kan? hahaha
gw pengen masuk situ dan ambil kelas internasional buat subject accounting kalo gak bisnis inter haha :)
walaupuuuun masi laaaaaamaa banget gw yakin gw gak bakal berubah! AAHAHA
so this is my NOVEMBER WISH ;
1. Being a better person (trying to forgiving)
2. Being a greatful person :*
3. PASS MY EXAM EASILY *YAY*
hahaha iaa soalnya final exam gw tinggal a few weeks to go!
omg gila kali gila kali gila kali, keknya berasa aja baru masuk sma
ngeluh sana ngeluh sini gara gara sistem belajar dan waktu yang beda banget sama yang gw lakuin di smp ):
EH! skarang uda mau ujian semester aja hahaha
so this is my post today! may you have a greaaat life like mine♥♥

deny.

don't you ever feel the same way as me?
no i dont know, because we're never end what we start
or that's me the one who felt this?
that you never feel the same things like me?
maybe i prefer not to know
i'm afraid that maybe the hardest things i need to believe
the hardest thing to understand
because i never want to understand in that way
if this were dream
i'd better here be with you in that time
even i'm too afraid to asked whether this is a dream or not
because somethings like too good to be true
i'm afraid when sometime i will wake up and realized
that's all just dreams, that smile, that attention
so i'd better here be with you forever
but someday the one i'm afraid off
become realities
it's just like thunder in day
i cant believe that i wake up from that dream and
know that everythings just bad dreams
that's just like holding water in your hand
that you know before you reached, that water already flow
you cant hold water but i've been dreaming i can hold water
so no one will believe in me,
i keep thinking i can hold that water
but no one sees me, i'm still believe in you
until i know even i spent my whole ages trying to holding you
i've never been there
i just like the air flew in the fall season
helping the leaves get off from the trees
and i know i've been a year trying holding you
even i know i will got nothing
but somethings whispered and says
i need to try harder to hold that water
so i'm just like in that pond waiting
someday can hold that water like in my dreams
like an idiot waiting rain drops in summer day.

because you're the one and the last :)

i'm not in love but i'm pretend that i'm fallin for someone,
but, that "someone" not yet found me :)
pity hah? yaa of course i'm pitying my self hahaha
wei, i'm trying or maybe have a big ambition to study more about mandarin language
like " ni jiao shen me ming zhi? " or wth is that hahaha lol
mmm, interested someday will have enough money and chance to go to china,korea,america,and a whole world to live for a backpacker hahaha *too much watching film lol
maybe hmm after the break for a week thinking again about my IQ test a last few months that make me like an idiot when look for it are you believe i have 123 it's superior hah? ckckck how can then hahaha until now i'm not yet believe in that haha
maybe there were something in my brain when do that test HAHA
mmm a week of mid test luckily having a good score this latest test (:
not so good but enough for a newbie like me ;p
that's all today, promise that i will routine to posting again ahaha :D
cao! :)